Right Lovely people, this post is all about the guest list. More specifically who you should invite and who you shouldn't! I want you to be able to walk away from reading this, knowing exactly how to cull that list of 6,000 guests down to your perfect number!
So let's start by you writing down every single person you think you want to invite to your wedding and even those you FEEL YOU SHOULD invite. You may even need to add some people you're requested to invite as well- tough subject and we will talk about it!
FAMILY
Ok so these guys should really be your definite's! But what about the family members that don't fall within your inner circle shall we say? That cousin you haven't seen in years, your godmother who you actually haven't seen in over 15 years. this is one of the most complicated parts of the guest list, because you'll get the 'but they're family' quote thrown out. However my saying still stands, "you do you!" - preferably with offending as minimal people as possible.
I for example had my Uncle fly over from America for my wedding and my godmother flew over from Spain. However my cousin (my uncles son) wasn't invited because I don't think I'd seen him for about 15 years, if not more! And this is potentially controversial, but I invited my other cousin (my Aunt's son) to the full shebang, but we only invited her daughter to the evening. We decided on that set up because we spent most Christmases with my Aunts son, but I hadn't seen her daughter in years.
My husbands godparents were invited to just the evening reception because in the 6 years we had been together before getting married, I had never met, nor heard of them. Whereas my godmother we saw every year and visited in Spain.
Hopefully that gives you a little context. there are no set rules, just be sensitive and work out what's right for you. You can save everyone's feelings, but tread carefully.
CHILDREN
Do you want a child free wedding? Don't feel awkward about this one at all!!
I'm a mum and if someone told me they were having a kid free wedding, I'd jump for joy. I love my kids, but hey every parent wants a night off with their friends. We want to grab our dancing shoes and head over to the dance floor!
What you do however need to consider is if you are having some kids. that's when you can either open a can of worms, or accidentally offend people. So just think about it.
How do you tell your guests that you've decided not to invite children? Well there are so many fun ways to write it in your invites or wedding website! You can say you want your friends to be able to have a night off and celebrate with you. Have a look on Pinterest for some awesome inspiration. I've got a Pinterest board set up already, so click HERE to take a look.
PARENTS REQUESTS
This can be a bit of an awkward one. Some parents request for their friends to be invited to your wedding. They may say, 'they've known you since you were a child'. This is where you really need to suss out with your partner, how you want to play it. There is no right or wrong answer here.
How much will it offend your parents if you were to say no?
Are you actually ok with the request?
Is your budget too tight to be adding people that aren't your friends or someone you would have invited yourselves?
Can they come to just the evening reception instead?
Are your parents paying for your wedding? If so they do have a little more say in this- it's tough.
Discuss all these factors before making your decision.
OLD FRIENDS
Ok so do you invite your best friends from school? Well if you haven't seen or spoken to them in 2 years no! But if you are still close, then of course you do. What about the friends wedding you went to about 4 years ago, but you have actually drifted apart since then? Well if you don't really see them and don't feel it's right, then you do not have to 'repay the favour'. Even if you were a bridesmaid for them at their wedding! Remember you are paying for each of these people to attend your wedding. It really adds up, so think about who really means the most to you. Obviously If you feel you would still like them there then go for it.
PLUS ONES
The plus one! Do not hand these out lightly! these are the guests that you basically won't know! This is were you really have to access each situation, there are no hard and fast rules!
So for example if your friend is with a new partner but they seem happy and steady, then you can put them both down on the list. If you haven't met them, it's your call. You could always invite them to just the evening if numbers or budget are a little tight. If however you have a friend coming to your wedding who you know, will know absolutely know one else, then this is a nice occasion to hand them out a plus one! These rules are flexible you see!
So there you have it! Hopefully now you can go back over that initial list and work out your perfect number! If you'd rather watch a video on this topic, check out my youtube video HERE.
Guest list is one of my first 4 steps to planning your wedding. If you haven't read my blog post on the first 4 steps, then you can check that out HERE.
Lauren xx
