April saw the second instalment of my Live Q&A's, which I am absolutely loving! It's so nice to hear from you all and sit with a cup of tea and just have a chit chat!
For those that missed it, I've written down some of the questions and my answers, in the hope it helps a few of you out there too!
So let's re-cap what we covered and dive straight into your questions!
What are the main tasks post wedding?
I loved this question so going to start with this one! As it's not often I get questions relating to post Wedding!
First of all and most importantly . . basque in the joy of newlywed bliss! Enjoy this magical bubble, believe me, the Wedding comedown really is a thing! So please, please enjoy this time as a married couple!
If there is one thing I urge you to rush, it is getting your wedding dress cleaned! The amount of brides I know who havn't prioritised this and then ended up with an un saveable mouldy dress in a bag months later makes me so sad! Whether you are keeping or selling her, the dress needs to be treasured. Dry clean it ladies and buy her a nice box I beg!
Depending on what you'd like to do with your bouquet, many companies offer a preservation service, if this is up your street then this is a super urgent task post wedding. This is something I absolutely wish I did all those years ago! It's incredible what they can do with a bridal bouquet these days, including creating art work that you can hang on your wall! (tip: this will need to be placed in water asap!)
A little thank you goes a long way and you may want to take the time to personally thank your guests for attending your Wedding, or your suppliers too! People forgive you for a little time afterwards but it's a nice post Wedding touch to do together with your now husband/wife, it's also a nice chance to sit and re cap over your day together.
Is there a honeymoon to plan? or better yet pack for!! A lot of couples like to beat the post Wedding blues and jet off away somewhere sunny for a rest, as we know how overwhelming the Wedding Admin can be! If you're lucky enough to go straight away then lucky you! Others may want a few months in between due to finance, work or other life events and in this instance you can make the planning fun by researching gorgeous places you want to visit and booking that honeymoon suite!!
Have you thought about re-purposing any items you had at your Wedding? It's a fab way to earn a few pennies (because lets face it you definitely crept over the budget!), facebook marketplace is full of Brides to be looking for something pre loved or a bargain! Items such as your card box, fairy lights and tableware all get snapped up pretty quickly!
A couple of months down the line you will be able to order your photos too! Now this one takes patience but promise they will be worth it. These are photos to keep for life, could you have a think about where you want them printed in your home, or gifting an important family member a photobook. If you had a videographer then the wait will also absolutely be worth it.
Tips on what I should be doing 7 months out?
Sounds like you might need our FREE checklist
This is very dependant on how long you have roughly been planning your Wedding but by 7 months ideally you want to have your core suppliers booked in and confirmed (ie Venue, Catering, Photographer etc).
Over on Bluebird Creative at the 7 months out stage we are fully immersive in our design phase! Think flowers, tablescaping, colours and overall image of your day. Pinterest should be your best friend and you should be spending this time deciding on the overall aesthetic you want from your day!
I'm not a fan of sending invites too early either so deciding on the wording, font, colour and shape of your stationary is an exciting job to do at this stage too!
CHECK OUT MY DIGITAL WEDDING PLANNER
Help! How do I narrow down a theme for my wedding?
I hear this a lot and TOTALLY feel you on this one, I'm almost glad instagram wasn't a thing 10 years ago when I got married as I'd have never been able to choose either, there are so many options and incredible things available out there. My best advice is not to think of it as a theme because really you are narrowing that down to one element. Think of it more as an amalgimation of everything you love and can envision.
My best advice is to focus on colour palettes, start by creating a mood board so you can see the full picture grouped together. Canva is excellent for this and a must if you are honing in on the design elements of your day.
I like too many things so I feel your pain here, from disco balls to bows to colour pop and clashing tones but your Wedding Day is individual to you, there really are no rules and I say if you want something then go for it!
How to manage opinions from parents on the guest list and the venue selection?
FACT Peoples opinions are the hardest part of wedding planning! There is no greater stress or common complaint than other people getting involved in your day. The stories I could tell you! There's a few factors here, first of all I fully understand where you are coming from and you have my sympathy. Quite often I hear of this becoming an argument but it does depend on a few factors ie who is hosting the Wedding? and by that I mean who is paying for it? If it is a joint venture split between the couple and their parents then I would be inclined to agree that there needs to be some meeting in the middle and compromises to be had.
Try and keep the peace, Wedding Planning can be overwhelming and hopefully this is something you only get to do once in your life. Ask yourself what is really important to you, go with you gut too! If something feels right to you ie the venue selection then stick to your guns! We did and it really paid off as we had the day we totally imagined.
How do I manage my timeline and make sure I’m fitting in everything realistically?
Ok this is a meaty one, so when I build a timeline I always start at the ceremony and work down (then back up again but for this purpose lets concentrate on the former). Typically a civil ceremony is going to take 30 minutes, a church wedding is more like 45-60 minutes, and a celebrant led wedding is very dependant and individual to the celebrant and the couple.
Then you typically have your Confetti shot, this will take place either back down the aisle or orchestrated somewhere else but lets allow say 15 minutes for this!
If the Wedding is all in one venue, we then go on to the drinks reception, which we allow 1.5hr for (your photographer may push for more!) but my years of experience has found that typically this is enough time for canapes, drinks and photos (and guests are definitely ready to eat at this point).
Now leading on to allowing time for guests to actually take their seats, ushering crowds is not easy, depending on your guest count say 100 I would allow 30 minutes. 50-80 guests go for 20 minutes. It's at this time that I really recommend you both go and have your couple shots, that way there is no fear of fomo whilst your guests are having fun without you, they are too distracted looking at your beautiful table plan and finding their seats!
Dinner Service approximately 1.5- 2hrs with 30 minutes (thats the sweet spot) allowed for speeches either before or after dinner - do take into consideration hot starters if you are hoping to have the speeches before food!
Again venue dependant, do you need a room turn around? Perhaps allow say 60 minutes for this - a lot of my couples choose this time to host a cocktail hour!
Which leads you nicely into your evening reception to party!
What questions do you need to ask when searching for a on the day wedding coordinator
Excellent question and one i'm very passionate about, the most important element is whether you click with them! You want them to get you in order to be able to trust them!
I believe it is 100% about building a relationship with someone and also understanding what is included in their service ie how involved are they in the lead up, what will they need from you? Understanding each others boundaries is super important too. Our coordinate service currently starts at 6 weeks prior, and in that is included a site visit, tailored questionnaire, contact with all suppliers, timeline build out and of course being there on the day to support in every possible way.
A great question to ask is how many members of the team will be there on the day? Personally I will never allow just one member of staff to coordinate a wedding, it's a big no no from me.
How to split the music budget between band vs DJ?
This is purely down to priorities guys! What is it out of the two that you both prefer? Me personally, I would always pick a band and bands are always more expensive than DJs. So a few factors - personal preference and budget! If you have your eye on a band but you know they will chip away at the budget a bit more than you had hoped perhaps compensate on a more affordable DJ?
Wedding signage! What do I really need?
So the biggy is a table plan, this is 100% a non negotiable in my opinion - otherwise it just gets a bit messy! A welcome sign however, is not (But can look pretty on the day). Table numbers/ names can be used to create a more personal touch to the room whilst stationary such as menus and place names compliment this really well.
I know couples who feel strongly about having a photo table too, with little mentions of those who may not be present on the day, similarly if you have a card / present table you may want to highlight this using some signage.
3 months to go, what should I be doing?!
Woohoo . . You're in the final stage! Right lets think of the important bits!
Timeline Creation
Final payments Due
Finalise those Guest Numbers to your suppliers, especially caterers!
Confirm all outstanding details
Book your fitting appointments if required for your dress
Book those beauty appointments in should you require ie fresh hair cut!
Summer wedding tips?
Prays for hot weather for you!
You don't want to hear this but please try and have a wet weather option just incase! We've all seen the tiktoks of brides in hurricanies with no other option or plan B but to be stood there in the rain. On the flip side, do consider offering shading, especially during the ceremony for those super hot days and water stations to keep your guests hydrated! Fans on the seats are also a nice touch, oh and keep an eye on the cake too - or at least ask someone else too!
What is the difference between a reading and speeches?
A reading at the ceremony is perhaps something you would have chosen, ie a poem or a reading or a short story. Essentially you choose someone that is important to you to do a reading, this can be a great way to include the mums, who otherwise often get left out.
Speeches are very different and usually written about you and your partner, traditionally led by the Father of the Bride, Groom and Best Man (though we love a Bride speech) but these are always centred around you as the couple. See my YouTube video where I discuss other ways in which you can involve the Mums on your Wedding day!
Tables preference? Round or Trestle?
MY personal preference and this is venue dependant but I love a trestle table. I dont think they are any 'less' sociable than a round which is always the argument I hear. If you have round you HAVE to have linen!
Trestles can get away with being naked if you are going for the rustic vibe! Round tables typically seat 8-12 and trestles seat 6, aesthetically i just love them and personally find them easier to design too! That being said, watch this space for an exciting Workshop I am working on this month!
Confetti in a basket or individual bags / cones?
This depends when you want to do the confetti shot, if its when you walk back down the aisle then I suggest bags for ease, I'm not a big fan of the cones as they are a bit of a nightmare to work with. A basket works well if you are coming out of a church and guests are due to line up, so they can grab large handfuls. Tip - if you want an epic confetti shot you should choose a basket, that way guests can grab two big handfuls!
Favours? Yay or Nay?
Food or drink favours YES otherwise please don't worry, it's a waste of money, bad for the environment and I cant tell you how many weddings I have been too where they are just left behind and put in a bin. Food and drink related for the win - especially shots!
I'm worried about having children walk down the aisle as Flower Girls and Page Boys, Help!
Kids will be kids, my sister is getting married next month and my daughter is a Flower Girl and I've just told her we will see what she does and how she is feeling - there is no telling children. Whats that old saying never work with children or animals? If anything, they are always guaranteed a laugh if one of them acts up and I am sure the parents of the children are on high alert and far more anxious than you!
Whatever you decide you need to be fairly flexible with this one. I recommend asking the most confident children to lead the others, as they like to copy when they're young. It is a case of practicality over aesthetic i'm afraid, kids are just so unpredictable! I have everything crossed for you!
Thoughts on all dried flowers compared to fresh?
I don't want to offend anyone but this is purely my opinion, I'm over dried flowers. My home used to be full of them but recently I've been taking them out. Nothing looks as beautiful (or smells as beautiful) as fresh flowers however sustainability wise, dried flowers do have so many benefits so I can see the appeal!
Am feeling nervous about having our couples photos, any advice?
Have you considered having an engagement shoot with your photographer? So you guys get to know them better and how they work! We did it and I cant tell you how much more confident I felt going into our Wedding Day - I really recommend it if its an option.
Otherwise have a relaxed and informal call or zoom with your photographer, so that you are made to feel more comfortable and confident. These guys are the professionals and they will totally direct you at whats best and hopefully put you at ease.
That was fun guys!!
See you for May's Live Q&A on 20th May
Lauren xxx
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